this is my face.  these are my thoughts.  now use your voice to reach me.

..

3/11/00:

there are some nice people in this world.  i was sitting on the bus and i was reeeaally tired, about to fall asleep..  and some guy comes up to me looking concerned and asks if i'm alright..  he thought i was sad and had just been crying, but i was just tired..  so i ended up talking to this guy for a while, but all i wanted to do was lay my head back and rest..  didn't wanna talk, but he was nice so i forced myself to..  there are people out there who genuinely care about others, even strangers.  odd.  gives me hope.  like i've always said, i don't believe in god, i believe in people..  but then i'll go through some annoying angst filled phase where i hate everyone..  usually short-lived at least.

the bus later played "like a prayer" and it made me smickle cuz i remembered how mary and i made a mini music video of us dancing and singing to that song..  and i was sooo into it i looked like a chicken with its head cut off..  when i'm in gospel mode, believe you me, i'm in gooospel mode, alleluia, praise the laaawd!!

today, i was getting lunch and one of the ladies working there asked me "so, what's your nationality?"  heheheh..  yup, i get this aaall the time.  she's seen me a million times, but i was the only one there at the time and she had the opportunity to ask, she said she had been wondering and she knew i was somethin not from here mwauhaha..  and yesterday, my chem t.a. asked where i was from..  he said that he knew i was foreign but didn't know what exactly..  and when i said where i was from, he was shocked because i didn't look it.  i'm quite the enigma aiye.  at first i thought it was frustrating that no one could tell what i was..  i was some sort of mutt or freak or somethin..  but now, it's sorta kewl..  having people look at me and not knooow.. oooooo..

3/7/00:

i dreamnt i made out with rebecca romijn stamos in a swimming pool last night...  hmm..  ???  i have no idea why or what it meant..  i swear i'm not a lezbian.

deep blue sea is the worst movie i have ever seen..   the characters were idiots..  the dialogue was horrible..  the shark looked so dumb and unrealistic..  come on, it's the year 2000 and the shark looked way fake, i'd think special effects have improved since the "i want my mtv" dayz, sheesh..  but overall a funny movie though because of how poorly it was done..  mary and i cheered every time some stupid ass got eaten by the shark..  oh yeah, do sharks snarl??  no, didn't think so..  but this one did, guess it was smart enough to have facial expressions.  the writers should be drug out onto the street and...  forced to watch their creation for torture.

2/28/00:

holy mary mother of gawd..  i just found out today i need to get a root canal!!  greeeat, faaabulous even.

i wasn't in a good mood this past weekend.  people were annoying me left and right..  lil' bitches were makin' me go "uuuhhhrrt"..but all the bad vibes are gone finally thank gawd..  i've stopped stressing.  it's all good now, wipeeee..

2/26/00:

last night, i went to visit bryvanne, matt, and chris..  but bryvanne's still in cleveland, grrr..  i thought we were just gonna sit around the haus and talk, listen to music, the usual schtuff..  but noooo, we randomly went to a park i've never heard of and played basketball..  well, mary and i didn't play, we just watched and played on the swing set..  then we went to a dumb picnic with vegans..  i need MEAT damn it, none of this wussy blueberries and shit..

2/18/00:

shit dood..  i saw the most FUKT up show on tv the other night..  "who wants to marry a multi-millionaire"..  that honestly fukt wid my brain..  i couldn't believe i was watching a russian mail order bride show here in the states.  it was funny as hell, but weirded me out.

so tonight i'm gonna go to a bravado show..  i'll write what i think of the band on my "critic" page afterwards.  my friends bryvanne and chris are in it..  i like watching bryvanne go into rock star mode : )  i never knew chris played drums, should be a kewl show.. 

i've been listening to a lot of new order and the mighty lemon drops lately..  gawd that stuff gets me goin'..  singin' along like an idiot at the top of my lungs

2/13/00:

i have this compiled song in my head that goes like this ..  "why can't we be lovers if we can't be friends..  how can we start over if the fightin' never ends.." then it goes to..  "tell me why, ain't nothin' but a heartache, tell me why, ain't nothin' but a mistake"..  then ends with "if i could turn back time, if i could find a waaay.."

dooood, you know what's a good song to get into when yer home alone..  "i'd do anything for love" by meatloaf.  that's some good shit right there.

2/8/00:

what to do this weekend, hmm..  was thinkin of either bowling or a movie..  i'm a bad bowler, and a distracting movie goer..  hm..  we'll see.  mark was supposed to visit, but i think he's comin another weekend, boo.  oh well, i was gonna be supah busy anywho.

2/7/00:

dooood ya'll..  friday night was some mad crazy shit yo.  boys kissing boys, girls kissing girls, virgins bein' sluts, whooowhee!  twas quite a night.  had lots of fun.  started at 1pm or so friday, then mary and i didn't end up goin' home 'til 4pm the next day. 

2/3/00:

after my little break up, i had the most fukt up dream.  i dreamnt there were two lezbians in my bed!!  me in bed wid two lezbians..  hmm..  the funny part was that..  well, the funny part was that i dreamnt about lezbians..  but another funny part was that they were stacked on top of me like a football pile up.  so this is what i get for havin' problems wid josh..  i dream aboot nekkid girls.  ick.  i have no problem wid lezbians, but being one??  that could never happen..  i don't get along wid girls enough, let alone see 'em nekkid.  i can't even have a conversation wid my own kind.

here's a tip folks..  never listen to the cure after having boy (or girl) problems.  ah, now i'm listenin to cypress hill..  muuuch bettah.

so i decided not to go out thursday night..  i'll go out friday night instead and catch a flick wid the mighty bogosian, eric (loosh's twin), mary, and gurrrg (aka urchin).  we're gonna see scream 3 most probably.  i'm the worst person to watch scary movies wid.  i'm the typical girl.  i scream, i cover my eyes, and leap into whoever's next to me..  and whichever arm is closest to me, i'll practically break it when i'm really scared.

i think i'm dun wid bois for now.  at first i thought i'd be some wicked playah..  but that's not gonna happen.  i'm feelin' pretty damn pathetic..  sigh, bois are odd they are,  yup yup..  for now i ain't gonna sweat it though..  whatever happens..  let it be.

1/30/00:

oh lordy..  it's 7am and i'm sittin here back at the computer cuz i can't sleep.  damn toothache of mine.  it started with an upper right back tooth, then moved to a lower back right tooth and now it's back to the upper one.  hrrrrm.

i have an ongoing joke concerning divine brown.  i don't think anyone else will think it's funny except for mary.  see, one day, mary described something as smelling "divine" and so i kept saying "divine" meaning the drag queen..  but then i got confused and thought the drag queen's name was "divine brown"..  i wouldn't stop sayin' "diviiine brown"..  divine brown this, divine brown that..  then realized..  wait, the drag queen's name was just "divine"..  who the hell is divine brown??..  and why the hell do i keep sayin' her name??  it took me a while..  then..  ding ding, heehee..  i'm an idiot.

now all i gots to say to mary to make her spit out her brownie as she laughs is..  "you know who'd be a good dj?  dj diviiine brown"..  sigh, only mary shall understand the humour of my stupidity.

speaking of stupidity.  i had a ten minute conversation last night online with the wrong person.  i kept babbling on, thinking it was someone i was talkin' to earlier aboot a tattoo..  when in fact it was a totally different person in a different city.  hm..  why did i not catch on that i wasn't talkin' to the right person.  i had a good laugh.  nearly woke up mary.

now that you all think i'm a moron..  i'm goin' to bed!  sign off time:  7:32am.

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